Prologue: Story of the Lost Child and How She was Found
"Once upon a time, not too long ago, there was a little girl so lost. She had got lost long ago, left one time alone, and no one there, and now a deep forest had grown around her and there was deep darkness amongst the trees of that forest. Many a time she had cried out and sometimes the people of the nearby village had heard those cries, but they said' oh the wolf is howling tonight, keep away, that wolf could eat us up!" Another girl in the village heard those cries, and felt for the creature so lost and alone. She wished she could help it. This village girl, she grew and often those cries would come into her dreams and come into her mind, filling her with its loneliness and pain and fear. She came to be wary of this and to keep away from any thoughts of the dark wood and the howls and the feelings around the hearing of the cries deep inside.So this girl from the village grew and married and had children and was known to be kind and was known to be good. Sometimes she thought she should point out that she heard the howls and felt the pain of the wolf crying in the woods. Sometimes the howls and the pain made her cry when it was not a time for crying. Then of course the villagers looked at her strangely and she did not know how to explain to them the burden she carried.
Then one day a fierce trickster came to the villages and charmed them all with his smiles and his seemingly wise words. She admired him, not seeing at first his falseness. The days went by and she realised he was using the admiration of the villagers to feed his own howling wolf and trying to make it feel better by feeling like a Very Important Person. His heart was so wounded that his seeming kindness was not from the heart but from the head, so not quite real. So she challenged him, for she was actually quite a courageous woman. But he drew his sword and wounded her, drew blood from her heart and this tore her open. The villagers were thrown into disarray, how had this terrible thing happened? But the trickster spun a web of clever lies and they believed the woman had fallen and hurt herself, it was her own fault. She limped away from the village, determined to survive and heal, and as she limped, she realized she needed some help from the healing woman and so she sought her out. She and the healing woman found potions and remedies for much of the hurting but the cries and howls of the wolf were deep pains, deep and hard to reach. The wounded woman decided to find the wolf and see what kind of wolf it was and whether it would eat her.
She didn't actually have much to lose as the pain was slowly killing her anyway and it was luring her to still pools and high rocky cliffs. So one day she went to the edge of the dark wood and peered in there. It was a dark and frightening place, with black lurking holes of deep feeling and woundedness. She went back to the healing woman and decided to take her with her. On entering the wild place there were many times of fear and many times of deep hurting and many times when the wounded but courageous woman actually thought," I would be better off dead" and it seemed a very real and very pragmatic thought. Sometimes it was just so tiring hacking thorough deep and dark undergrowth, fighting with demons of rage and anger, demons who wanted to destroy all her light and all her joy. Sometimes it was just so endless. Sometimes it was plain boring, not a lot of fun or laughter. Sometimes she just had to get to know the dangerous ones who lurked there and sometimes she even had to befriend them so that they were tamed and became gentle and helpful.
So as the time went by, roaming the wild places , the wounded woman decided to at least try to enjoy the beauty of the trees and sing of their radiance when the gentle light filtered in. She began to hum the sound of the stream and chant the calls of the birds and soon light and more life came into this dark wood. More birds came, attracted to the sweet notes she sung and more light came in to look at the beauties in the trees and mosses. She would dance with the shafts of light and feel warmed by the increasing shafts of sunlight.
And then slowly slowly they came to where the wolf must live. It was the darkest place of all. It was pitch black and it seemed to lurk with all the terrors and all the shames and all the fears of all her lifetime. It was indeed a terrible place and the urge to run and run and never come back, not ever, was so strong it made her weep and tremble. It was not a place that you or I would wish to go. She wanted to destroy this place and this wolf and all the crying and all the howling. She wanted to cut it out and to destroy it for always. The Healing Woman remained strong by her side and bit by bit, the wounded woman walked towards the wolf. The howls grew louder and the pain was now all there was, pulsing and throbbing and threatening annihilation. The wounded woman walked towards all that. She lifted her arm to bring it down in battle and slay the howling wolf ...
and there,
for a split second, she saw the small and terrified, pain filled child, so lost, so abandoned, so lonely. The child looked up at her, terrified and she looked down at this little girl
and Oh!
She picked her up and held her. The small Lost Child Now Found snuggled up and the wounded woman let go of all her previous fear of this howling child and embraced her and embraced all her pain and loneliness and abandonment. And the Healing Woman held them both and shudderings and judderings rocked the wild place and earthquakes were heard across the land and tremblings deep in the core of the earth itself.
The child was held, the wounded woman held her and the Healing woman put her arms around them both.
And silence fell.
There was a peace in the forest, a bee buzzed by and a butterfly flitted here and flitted there. A bird called deep within the trees and another answered. A mote floated in the soft ray of light streaming in from high above.
And silence reigned.
A soft footfall of a small deer could be heard nearby. It felt as though all the world stood still. It felt like time itself had stopped. And still the small child was held and the small child felt this holding like a honey that drips - drip drop- onto every single bit, every single cell, every single part, every single heart ache. And the wounded woman felt this honey - the tenderness and admiration for the lost child, the endearing small child who had howled and raged and now was held. And from the healing woman came this fountain, pouring from her very heart. A heart pouring kindness and care from one human being to another.
Bathing in the honey from this fountain of kindness, the wounded woman became whole and the lost child became found and loved and cherished. "I am being unhurted" said the small child. " I am being unhurted too,' said the Now Healing Woman.
(And of course as in all stories like this, they all lived happily ever after. :) ) THE END kind of ...
Post script: actually the now healed woman became quite wild in some ways. She would not let the villagers be frightened of wolves and showed them how to travel the dark forests and danced and sang with the energy of wild but whole beingness, with the joy and the energy of the Lost Child Found. They were quite something, these two! And people were touched by this and found they could dance and sing too and even face their own wolves. A bit."
When moving towards the inner child, it may seem frightening at first, like entering a dark wood, a wild place. There are many scary feelings lurking there, feelings which may feel like they will gobble you up. Initially it may feel so dark and lonely and full of strange wild creatures, that all you want to do is run and all you want to do is hide and all you want to do is find a hole and sit in it safe and still until it all goes away. But actually that is not living. That is hiding. So we can take a deep breath and enter the dark wood and see what we find there.
As in all stories, when it gets frightening, it is a good idea for you take an ally or strong guardian with you, someone who cares about you and can help you feel safe when it gets tough or hold you and comfort you if the fear and shaking and the scared feelings feel too big. In the old stories we would have to face that which scares us and it makes us strong to do that. In this story you take a friend who is big and strong and they help you. Then you can find the deepest centre, the place surrounded by all the pain and all the fear and all the confusion and sit there knowing all the different bits and getting to know the very centre too.
And there is nothing more wonderful than feeling safe in the middle of a wild and scary forest and find it is not such a wild and scary place after all. It has quiet sounds and gentle light and still places. It is alive, it is shimmering with beauty and it holds great promise and potential to transform.
